and then there were three

…plus little allie. 

if i’ve learned anything with carson’s unexpectedly early arrival it’s that all babies have a birth story that is uniquely their own.  here’s carson’s:

the weekend before carson made his debut two of my closest girlfriends hosted an intimate shower for me and a pistol and pampers shower for cody.  this would be insignificant really to the story except that for fun, we asked everyone who attended to submit a guess for when they thought the baby might arrive.  the guesses ranged from november 18^th to december 6^th.  not a single person guessed october 26th!  but that’s when our miracle baby wanted to come. 

after feeling a little lethargic and nesting all afternoon (our fridge and freezer look like new again) i remember wanting nothing more than to go to bed early sunday night.  cody was scheduled to leave for a business trip that next afternoon for the rest of the week.  since i had been experiencing some new pregnancy symptoms, apparently indications of pre-term labor according to mary sue who was my first call with questions, i asked him to drive his own vehicle just in case.  he assured me he’d have a vehicle and be only a few hours away.  teary-eyed i accepted the fact that he would likely go and he made sure to comfort me until we went to bed.

sometime early in the morning on the 26^th i let allie out and felt what i would later learn to be my water breaking.  not noticing a significant amount of leakage or terrible abdominal pain i made myself quit worrying, quit googling, and go back to bed.  after waking for work and still feeling like i was experiencing either braxton hicks contractions or the real deal i called an on-call nurse prior to leaving the house.  i filled her in on all of the details and she suggested i pack a bag and have someone drive me to labor and delivery.  cody seemed surprised and at about the same time shared that his trip was getting pushed back a few days.  i felt instantly relieved! 

it’s a good thing that i am a very organized person.  for weeks i had been collecting items for a hospital bag (nursing tanks & supplies, hair product minis and travel toiletries, cozy socks, feminine products, etc.) and they were nicely sitting in carson’s room.  that morning they haphazardly made it into a bag with the thought that we’d be coming back home at some point to do it all over again later.  we also gathered up some baby things and hurried off.  that is, after we finally got allie to her kennel.  she knew we were leaving for awhile and she was stubborn about leaving the garage and missing out. 

at the hospital i was quickly admitted and tests were run.  initially i asked cody what he thought of all the commotion and he said ‘i don’t think he’s ready to come.’ after the monitors were hooked up indicating consistent contractions and a possible water break he said ‘i think he does want to come.’  all of this in a matter of minutes cracked me up.  the tests indicated what i thought to be true, my water had broke and preterm labor was emanate. 

for some women this can be scary but i was honestly cool, calm, and collected.  i figured God would take care of me and the baby and what needed to happen would.  i was right.  the doctor warned me of all the concerns with delaying labor as well as with moving forward then she said ‘today is labor day.’  there was no time to be anxious or nervous.  i was going to have a baby!!!

now, despite all the planning one thing i did not create (and personally don’t ever plan to for any of my babies) is a birth plan.  i’m the type of person who has always wanted to follow rules and achieve any type of goal that i set for myself.  in creating a plan i knew i’d hold myself to that same standard and with the birth of a child that type of pressure seemed pointless.  at 10:30 AM i was moved to a delivery room and petocin was injected to start the labor induction process.  that’s when we called the parents and siblings and i called worked.  people’s reactions made us giggle; yes even during contractions.  grandpa gar’s was my favorite, ‘she’s what?!?!!’ and then ‘did you call your mother?’

after the calls were made i sent cody out to get the rest of our things and by the time he returned my contractions were off the charts and sporadic.  there was no pattern and they continued intensely for minutes on end.  cody quickly stepped in and coached me through each one; rubbing my back and holding my hand.  at 11:37 AM i was checked.  the doctor had indicated that the induction process could take hours so i had no expectation.  the nurse indicated i was in active labor and dilated to a four.  at 1 PM i requested an epidural and was at a 7.  within minutes the moms had arrived and for the epidural i am thankful.  i was able to carry on full conversations with hardly a wince while i contracted.  then i was checked again.   according to my incredibly supportive nurse, eileen, i was at a 10+2 and it was time.  at approximately 2:15 PM i started to push. 

laboring a baby is definitely a unique experience and not one that they prepare you for; even in the birthing class.  cody counted and everyone in the room cheered me on.  it was truly an out of body experience.  on the final try, prior to moving over to surgery for an emergency c-section, carson taylor was born. 

he arrived at 2:44 PM weighing only 4 pounds and 12 ounces.  he was 17.25” long and surprised all of the medical staff by breathing on his own.  dad cut the cord and followed him everywhere in the room and then down to the newborn intensive care unit (NICU).  i have never loved my husband more than i did in those few minutes after giving birth.  while i was allowed some skin-to-skin time with my little man  i had to wait almost two hours before seeing my son again.  i am not a very patient person and the wait was excruciating.  while most women have rooms full of family, their new babies, husbands and medical staff mine was empty, except for eileen for part of those two hours that i waited.  nothing can ever prepare you for that kind of feeling of emptiness after such a trying, eventful and celebratory experience.  sometime later everyone returned and they helped me down to the NICU to see my baby. 

he’s perfect in every way.  i cannot imagine loving him any more than i already do.  i can’t wait for all of the adventures life with bring him and for allie to meet her brother.  :) if his arrival is any indication of what type of baby, child, and adult he will be we better get ready.  

trust in the lord with all your heart –proverbs 3:5

photo cred: my incredibly talented friend; lsphotography

pregnancy update: 33 weeks

when i found out we were expecting back in march the thought of actually having a baby by the end of the year seemed eternally far and almost whimsical.  as the realities of pregnancy became more apparent i’ve settled into a state of what i’ll call severe ‘to-do-ery.’  now with the months winding down and our due date drawing near i’m relishing every last minute of free time with my husband and for myself. 

while we’ve made progress in getting ready to be first time parents we’ve also made it a point in the last month to do things for ourselves, when time permits.  we’ve gone on a few fall dates, focused a little more on work so that the transition to time away is easier, started and finished a few projects in the house, spent personal time doing something we each enjoy, taken long walks at night, and have been more lazy than normal during the week.

as for the babe – he’s been far more active this past month!  he stretches, rolls, and moves as he sees fit and is more responsive to various stimuli these days.  he has fairly consistent sleep and wake patterns and has moved down into the birthing position.  according to the doctor he is 'very' low and there is no expectation that he’ll move from where he’s at until he makes his world debut.  

employees at our city outing thought the bump needed a picture with cy ;o) 

here’s what else:

feeling:

more and more uncomfortable – my feet swell from time to time, i am constantly in the bathroom, and my hips ache most days and nights these days.

tired – between leg cramps and bathrooms visits throughout the night my quality of sleep has seriously deteriorated.  i should also mention here that every time i wake so too does the dog.  she is doing a great job of preparing us for a newborn.

accomplished – we only have a few details left in the nursery (look for a post soon). all of the necessities have been purchased and our to-do list is dwindling. 

craving:

i’ve grown tired of oatmeal for breakfast so i’m craving something equally as satisfying that doesn’t take more than a few minutes.  nothing sounds good...yet.

comfort food favs: chili, tortilla soup, pot roast…

avoiding:

nada – although the nausea and vomiting have returned :(

daddy update: 

i think it’s fair to say that in the past month cody has really gotten on-board with the whole baby thing.  while work is still busy for another couple weeks it seems the baby is coming to the forefront more often; in conversation, in his dreams, even in his free time.  this month there’s a lot to share on dad:

1) a couple of weekends ago on our way to the birthing class he shared that he had a dream about the baby.   while he confirmed it was a boy and it was a newborn there was no mention of me in the dream (i wanted to know if this dream would elude to any birthing premonitions).  he did note however, that the baby had 'reddish blonde hair with a bald spot in the middle of his head and was initially quite cute'.  apparently later in the dream the baby was not as cute....

2) cody has also been quick to share tidbits of the knowledge he gathered from the birthing class.  when i first asked him what he learned he mentioned only that ‘this whole labor thing could take awhile’ and that he hopes he doesn't pass out.   to date he’s commented on my ‘nesting’, clumsiness, and reactions to some of the labor relief options.  i appreciate his light-heartedness…at least for now.  

3) finally, on a recent morning off he decided to put together and test out all the new baby gear.  this made me super excited since i haven’t pressed him much about doing those things.  we got out the car seat, the rocker-sleeper, high chair, and monitor. 

living in:

all out maternity clothing!  surprisingly enough i haven’t gotten so big that i’m extremely limited.  i still have what i consider a full wardrobe of options and so many fall accessories!!!

longing for:

not pregnancy related at all but, i’d like some consistent, cool, crisp autumn weather.

a full night of uninterrupted sleep. 

if i were 23 again

as my twenties draw to a close i am feeling awfully reflective.  this post could just as well be called: 2cents for my senseless 20s but titles are relative.  the reality is the year between turning 22 and 23 was my most pivotal year to date.  for the most part, my twenties can be characterized as a period of painful discovery; a time when i thought i had it all figured out.  it wasn’t until 28(-ish) that i feel i hit my stride in confident, satisfied adulthood.  now, days away from the big 3-0 i’ve come to the realization that i am much closer to being the person that i want to be than i ever was when i was in my twenties.  so for the me that was coming into her own at 23 here’s the advice i’d have to offer. 

1.    you are young and dumb.  it’s true.  you might as well come to terms with the fact that you really don’t know it all and you’ve got a lot to learn.  don’t ignore the advice offered from those who have truly ‘been there, done that.'  there’s a lot to be said for being humble (in a few years it’ll be the quality that helps propel your success on the career front) so save yourself some time: bite your tongue, admit when you’re wrong, and learn to listen. 

2.   believe it or not, the world does not revolve around YOU.  whaattt?!?! at some point between jellies and stilettos the world dished out a harsh dose of ‘and…who are you?’!  lame.  case in point: that part-time job you nearly lost because apparently a one day’s notice to go to a concert wasn’t enough is a prime example.  these decisions that impact only you are not so significant that you should lose sight of what they could mean for others.  interestingly enough you'll figure this out sooner rather than later.  as we age other's feelings become just as predominant as our own.  it’s a uniquely eye-opening phenomenon. 

3.     it’s a good time to experiment.  just do so responsibly.  with age also comes perspective.  you can’t really know that a bad decision is a bad decision until you’ve made a bad decision (i.e., piercings, drinking, boys – the list goes on from there for me).  talk about a catch-22.  so, with caution, make a few bad decisions but learn from them – quickly.  at some point bad decision making isn’t going to be socially acceptable, enjoy it while it lasts.

4.     live a little. on the heels of ‘experimenting’ don’t get hung up on where you’re supposed to be.  so what if the girl in your poli sci 420 class just got admitted to law school while you’re still trying to figure out if finishing the application is even worth it?  timing isn’t the end all, be all.  trust that you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing at this moment in your life and know that there is a greater power at play.  going through the motions because it’s some dumbfounded expectation you’ve set for yourself based on what other’s are doing will literally drive you insane.  grad school finished by 25, married by 26, house by 27, kids by 28….ugh!  do what works for you, now and later in life.  when you are supposed to be where you are, you’ll be there. 

5.    being busy should not be paraded as a badge of honor.  (honestly most weeks you still need reminded of this one.)  in college, and at times even now, enjoy the fact that you are busy living a full life just don’t get so caught up in making so many plans that you find yourself looking forward to the next big thing without staying focused on what’s going on in the moment.  a full social calendar coupled with school and work isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  good news is: the ‘i’m so busy’ allure fades quickly.  in our society so much emphasis is placed on being and doing all things, at all times, for all people that we short change ourselves of the most rewarding experiences.   

6.   stop being so hard on yourself.  despite all of your ‘mistakes’ you’re making your way in this world – you’ve made strides in coming into your own, you’ve started graduate school, you’ve just fallen for an incredible guy (thy guy) and you’ve made some tough decisions that will make you a stronger a person in the long run.  too bad you can’t see it that way.  you’re a perfectionist, so to you even the smallest bumps in the road are amplified.  you’re constantly reminded of your shortcomings.  as long as you’re staying true to yourself you’ll keep moving in a positive direction. promise!

xoxo

apple orchard

side note: {i sometimes wonder why my husband sticks around?! i mean for a guys' guy he isn't much into going certain places i have an interest (thank goodness for girlfriends) but every year he does make a point to visit the apple orchard with me. whether it's my sappy requests or some innate interest of his own he goes :)} 

sunday morning we cruised north to center grove orchard.  unlike most year we went first thing in the morning.  we arrived a few minutes after opening and much to our surprise the orchard itself wasn't crowded at all despite the fact that the parking lot was filling up with hoards of families. 

the weather cooperated wonderfully - perfectly crisp and fall-like - which made boots and flannel a must! i indulged in pumpkin and apple cider flavored goods, cody corralled my finds, we played a few games, went on a 'private' hayride and picked up a pumpkin.  although we didn't stop by the corn maze or actual pick any apples it was another great visit!! 

right before i gave up...

cody finished the race!

i will learn to make apple cider donuts this year - mmmm!!!

perks of arriving early: solo hayrides!