as my twenties draw to a close i am feeling awfully
reflective. this post could just as well be called: 2cents for my senseless 20s but titles are relative. the reality is the year between turning 22 and
23 was my most pivotal year to date. for
the most part, my twenties can be characterized as a period of painful
discovery; a time when i thought i had it all figured out. it wasn’t until 28(-ish) that i feel i hit my stride in confident, satisfied adulthood. now, days away from the big 3-0 i’ve come to
the realization that i am much closer to being the person that i want to be
than i ever was when i was in my twenties. so for the me that was coming into her own at 23 here’s the advice i’d have to
offer.
1. you are
young and dumb. it’s true. you might as well come to terms with the fact
that you really don’t know it all and you’ve got a lot to learn. don’t ignore the advice offered from those
who have truly ‘been there, done that.' there’s a lot to be said for being humble (in a few years it’ll be
the quality that helps propel your success on the career front) so save yourself
some time: bite your tongue, admit when you’re wrong, and learn to listen.
2. believe it or not, the world does not revolve
around YOU. whaattt?!?! at some point
between jellies and stilettos the world dished out a harsh dose of ‘and…who are
you?’! lame. case in point: that part-time job you nearly lost because apparently
a one day’s notice to go to a concert wasn’t enough is a prime example. these decisions that impact only you are not
so significant that you should lose sight of what they could mean for others. interestingly enough you'll figure this out sooner rather than later. as we
age other's feelings become just as predominant as our own. it’s a uniquely eye-opening phenomenon.
3. it’s a good time to experiment. just do so responsibly. with age also comes perspective. you can’t really know that a bad decision is
a bad decision until you’ve made a bad decision (i.e., piercings, drinking,
boys – the list goes on from there for me). talk about a catch-22. so, with
caution, make a few bad decisions but learn from them – quickly. at some point bad decision making isn’t going to be socially acceptable, enjoy it while it lasts.
4. live a little. on the heels of ‘experimenting’ don’t get hung up on where you’re supposed to be. so what if the girl in
your poli sci 420 class just got admitted to law school while you’re still
trying to figure out if finishing the application is even worth it? timing isn’t the end all, be all. trust that you’re doing what you’re
supposed to be doing at this moment in your life and know that there is a
greater power at play. going through the
motions because it’s some dumbfounded expectation you’ve set for yourself based
on what other’s are doing will literally drive you insane. grad school finished by 25, married by 26,
house by 27, kids by 28….ugh! do what
works for you, now and later in life. when you are supposed to be where you are, you’ll be there.
5. being busy should not be paraded as a badge of
honor. (honestly most weeks you still
need reminded of this one.) in college,
and at times even now, enjoy the fact that you are busy living a full life just don’t get so caught up in making so many plans that you find yourself looking forward to the next big thing without staying focused on what’s going
on in the moment. a full social calendar
coupled with school and work isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. good news is:
the ‘i’m so busy’ allure fades quickly. in our society so much emphasis is placed on being and doing all things,
at all times, for all people that we short change ourselves of the most
rewarding experiences.
6. stop being so hard on yourself. despite all of your ‘mistakes’ you’re making
your way in this world – you’ve made strides in coming into your own, you’ve
started graduate school, you’ve just fallen for an incredible guy (thy guy) and you’ve made some tough
decisions that will make you a stronger a person in the long run. too bad you can’t see it that way. you’re a perfectionist, so to you even the
smallest bumps in the road are amplified. you’re constantly reminded of your shortcomings. as long as you’re staying
true to yourself you’ll keep moving in a positive direction. promise!
xoxo
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